bitches and backstabbers

It has recently come to my attention that there may possibly be a coup forming to petition that I don't get a permanent job here.

My friend Stephanie yesterday told me one of her clients had heard about it, and she felt the need to tell me. I am glad that she did. However, I did get extremely upset and I cried for over an hour, and I finally had to call Brian to calm me down.

Why would someone do this to me? Who are these people? What the hell did I do to deserve this?

I have decided that I would talk to Colleen about this first thing when she gets back from vacation. I am at the point where I am going to refuse to leave the state of Alaska until I get my offer letter and I sign it.

There is no reason for me to not get a job since it was approved by Angie Gorn who is VP of Hospital Operations to plead that I could work here since they do not hire LPN's.

I am being terribly paranoid and non trusting of everyone. This could be some retarded bullshit rumor that got out of hand and warped to no extent, but nonetheless, it is still going around and I feel threatened by it.

Hopefully, I will be able to talk to Colleen about it tomorrow and clear the air.

If I don't get to stay here, I don't know what I would do.

I don't want to live in Memphis.
I don't want to live with Mom and Dave.
I don't want to go back to working for shit money.
I don't want to run the risk of not finding a nursing job.
I want to go to school and get my RN.
I want to get out of debt and pay my student loans off.
I want to be independent.

And most importantly, I CANNOT lose Brian. If I did, I think I would die of a broken heart. He couldn't leave to be with me because of the divorce and Kalissa.
I would die inside.