I am sick and tired of being overweight. What kills me more is that I have become so lazy that I am finding excuses not to go and work out, go walking, or a good reason not to eat that donut.
I feel my belly growing daily, and I always just want to buckle down and cry. I feel like I am at the point of no return. If I start now, it may be for nothing.
I have been sick ever since I have quit smoking. Upper respiratory or GI something or other. I have been increasingly depressed. I cry all the time.
I'm homesick. I hate everyone. People piss me off so easily.
Oh yeah, and I haven't been taking my medications. A sort of boycott if you will. I am so pissed that I have to take them.
What bothers me the most is the fact that I have every resource out there to utilize dealing with my shortcomings. Why aren't there any options to get rid of what hurts you, instead of learning just how to 'deal' with it.
I still secretly wish for cancer every day so I can go on treatment and lose weight. Of course, a type of cancer that doesn't include oral steroids.
I ask God every day why I have to be like this. I don't understand. I don't want kids anymore because I don;t feel I have anything good to genetically pass down to them.
Let's see:
depression
ADD
obesity
alcoholism
anxirty
The only thing good I can pass on is a pretty face for about 25 years until the elements and the world turn against her.
I fucking HATE THIS! WIll someone please take it all away?
