thanks olivia

My recruiter sends me and email this morning.

Call me today, I'm worried about you.


I'm FUCKING FINE!

I am pissed off at David

I sent him an email on Sunday, and I still haven't heard back from him. I hope he has a good time in AK, but then soon after gives me a call and we can get together again. I'm just hurting for friends and fighting boredom.

Thank you, Art Marr

So I was talking to one of my patients yesterday about a subject we are both fond of: MOVIES!

We usually discuss what ones are our favorites, what we would like to see, etc...

Then I told him how I like to go to movies at the theatre by myself.

His automatic response cut into what I was saying.

"There is no reason why a woman like you should ever go to the movies alone. I can't understand how any man has ever passed you up!"

I could have cried. I am thinking about it now, kinda sad. the only thing I could tell him that I knew was true was that nice men don't ask me out. Nice men aren't interested in me.

I feel like there is something I am doing wrong. I know I am not as social as I would like to be out in CA. I thought I was going to have more friends than this. I was so excited to get up here and meet new people. I thought I had it all figured out because I would be hanging out with Sean, and that would be the start and solution to everything I needed as far as companioned comfort here in CA.

I didn't see it coming that he was already to be back in NY byt the time I got here in CA.

When I had started to give up on him, I went on Craig's List just to see what would happen if I solicited a woman seeking man ad. I got so many responses, it blew me away. there was one guy I was interested in that seemed to be promising that I had gotten enough courage to go and meet, and he dropped off the face of the Earth.

I realized I had this open invitation to hang out with David, so I opted to see what he would do. After about 2 months of email tag, we finally hung out 2 weeks ago for the first time.

He seemed so perfect. Handsome, nice manners, excellent vocabulary, good conversationalist, although I felt like I was on a job interview since he kept asking question after question...

Well, I heard one sentence from him since, and now nothing more than a week later.

I know he is going to Alaska next week for the Iditarod. I am way jealous, and I was hoping that would be a great tie for us to continue talking. I still think he is a busy guy and doesn't have much time. Although I know if a guy is interested, it doesn't matter, he'll call. I just keep praying that if nothing works out with David, a nice guy will finally come my way.

I confess

I admit something now, that I will probably look back on and shake my head.

I actually was motivated to quit smoking to have a chance with David, more than or my health.

My mom's recent heart surgery wasn't enough to shock me out of quitting. But a man was the reason. Not a guy I was in a committed relationship with, but one I had only met once.

WTF is wrong with me?

I know I did it in part to help my mom quit, but the sadness is, I am disappointed in myself that I couldn't have done this on my own earlier.

I am hoping that my Mom, Jess, Weez, and Dad all can quit on the Chantix like I have.

I hope if David ever finds out that I quit smoking because of him how much of an honor that is.

finally gonna do it

I am going to go to Long's and get some comp books. I am finally going to write my story. I figure I'll do it in the form of letters. Letters to people I have always wanted to say things to. This will also be a good form of therapy I think.

I am a very good letter writer. I may not hve the widest of vocabularies, but I do get my point across, and I do it well.

I've also decided to leave David alone.

It took him almost 5 weeks to meet up with me after I firs made the suggestion. It also took him almost 3 just to respond to the first of the emails I started to send him.

It took im 36 hours to respond to a thank you email.

He still hasn't responded to an emai I sent yeserday asking th epeople I knwo in the area where a good ER or urgent care center is.

If he's not interested romantically, fine. Don't dis a person you just met.

if he's being silent to give me te hint, he can fuck himself. And he's some sort of savant hacker, so if David, you are reading this, keep reading. You're a scum for prying into my business.

I am a lonely person, and I have way too much time on my hands.

I am ready for a romantic relationship, but I am also taking friend applications as well. I fnd yu attractive, smart, and intimidating in a good way. I figure ou're a really busy guy, so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. I'm just going to quit for now trying to contact you. I think at this time in our lives we are polar opposites as far as time on our hands.

If you ever wanna hang out, gimme a call or an email. Most likely I'll be free.

done for?

So, I am sick today, and I sent out a safe email to the people in CA who live close enough to help me. David included. So far, I have not recieved an email from anyone. I guess eveyone is out enjoying the holiday except me.

I hope that the one liner email I got from David last week wasn't the last.

I can't be stuck here in CA with 2 friends to hang out with and that's it.

Corissa drives me crazy adn Nicole is so unpredictable, I really don't know when we could hang out.

wow

I just woke up after about 20-22 hours of sleep to find myself with a headache, started mt period, and still no response from David. Although I am doing what is best for meby reading He's Just Not That Into You, and finding alot of things in there that apply to him, I am still gonna give him a try and see what happens.
I want to ask him out sometime next week, and see if I can discuss AK with him since he says he is going in a few weeks for the Iditarod.
I know how to weasel into his business to try and get more interaction with him.

I have this feeling that he is really occupied by his business and has little time for other things sometimes. IE-dating, hanging out with new friends when there are old ones that dont take effort andtime to get to know.

I am not making excuses for him! I just have afeeling about how his life is. For all I know, I could be way wrong, and I could be making an ass out of myself right now for all this.

It all b oils down to the fact that I hate being single and I will keep hoping that each new uy will be the last I have to pursue. I am 28 years old, and I am scared of being single for the rest of my life.